Zen-ish Thoughts About Aging

My mother used to quip, "Aging sucks, but it beats the alternative". She was still saying that at age 94. She is 96 at the time of this writing, and I haven't heard her say that in a long time. I am certain that she still feels the same way, but the margin of benefit is narrowing.

There are two reasons that aging sucks. One is that we become increasingly aware of the decreasing gap between today and the tomorrows we will not live to see. The other is that the grow-and-improve focus of the human body begins to turn around in our mid-20s and shifts toward degeneration with increasing speed in our 40s and beyond. So, death aside, aging hurts, physically and mentally.

There are things we used to do without thought or effort that now require both, and recovery time as well. There are things we literally cannot do anymore. Aches and pains begin to accompany such simple things as walking, standing, sitting, and even lying down. After a few decades of reducing physical ability, we may see the beginnings of reducing emotional resilience and the early bits of reducing cognitive function. We watch ourselves die over a period of decades, over most of our lives, in very slow motion.

Wow, Bennett, that's an exceedingly morose way to think about it. Yes, it is, but that is what is happening. Thus we must ensure it is not all that is happening.

What are you doing today to age well? Stretching? Cardio? Strength training? Meditation? Eating well? Enjoying time alone? Enjoying time with others?

For most of us, the answer is that we are doing nothing or very little to age well. Which of these applies to you? Don't exercise. Do complain about bodily aches, pains, losses, and limitations. Don't eat a good diet. Do complain about accumulating chronic diseases. Don't meditate or engage in other activities that improve the quality of alone time. Do complain about the feeling of emptiness when alone. Don't stay actively engaged with others. Do feel alone, abandoned, unvalued.

All things Zen begin with what is so. What is so about how you are actively managing to age well, or passively aging poorly by default? In Buddhism, thinking about death and aging, with the consequence of making the most of the life you have, is called Death Meditation. Wow, Bennett, that sounds so morose. Yes, but it is a good way to stop imagining that you will make things better later. Do or do not. There is no "later" that is better than now.